Wednesday, July 24, 2013

We want to start our family- We are asking for Prayers.....

Bryan and I have been married for almost 14 MONTHS!!! wow, where did the time go??? only 10 MONTHS till our 2 year anniversary.

In any case we have been trying to conceive for that same period of time as well. 
And so far with no success....
We honestly thought or suspected that these last few weeks and this last month that we had been successful and were pregnant. That thinking was going on till this last Sunday when while at a cousin's missionary farewell and before Sacrament Meeting started I made a stop to the restroom and in doing so.  There it was - It was confirmed that Pregnancy and conception had not occurred.

I do admit I was disappointed and started experiencing feelings of depression, disappointment, feeling that I had once again FAILED and disappointed myself and my wonderful husband. As I know how strong the desire is for me to give birth, conceive, have children and be a mother and the same for my wonderful husband minus the giving birth on "his end"!!!! There is such a strong desire for him to have children and be a father as well.

We now know that this process will not be a "cake walk!", not going to be a breeze or easy, And I just fear that as each month passes and if we are not pregnant the likelihood of it happening get's less and less.

We now come to you..... OUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, and those we LOVE and who are so near and dear to us - We need your help!!!! we know there is not a lot or much you all can do accept offer and give your love, support, and encouragement to us.

And really that is what we need and are asking for.  We ask you our Family and Friends
For your prayers that we will be successful in conceiving, getting pregnant and experiencing pregnancy and childbirth. That nothing will stand in our way and prevent us from achieving this desire and goal.

Your love and support is greatly appreciated.....

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Dream i had while taking a nap.... Hope it is not a indicator of what will happen to me in one sense....

I was taking a nap earlier this evening. And I had a dream kind of a weird one of sorts however right before I woke up well I should say it was ending as I was waking up. Anyhow, I do not know how many of you watch the young and the restless and who are familiar with the characters.

But, this dream was set in a Airport and I was there and so was Cane and Lily (from Young and the restless), Victoria (from young and the restless), me, and this sweet but, random girl who I guess works at the airport or something. This random lady has really been wanting to have children or a child but, has been unsuccessful - and I liken it to me who has so far been unsuccessful and so is Victoria on the young and the restless.  Anyhow in this dream when it was ending News came out that Cane and Lily were expecting and they were so excited and so was this random lady. Come to find out that Lily is this ladies surrogate., Then Victoria comes out and proclaims "Well, God still don't want and can't allow me to have children. "

 as of course she had just found out she was and is not pregnant.  That is right when I wake up!!! It got me thinking.... "Oh, no I really hope what Victoria is going through and experiencing is not going to be me and what I am experiencing." I hope that is not my fate and experience and outcome.

I much rather and hope and pray for "The Cane and Lily outcome and that of mystery lady!"

Sorry I know this is random and weird. Just want to express my feelings.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

We are trying to start our family....

I want this blog to be a place where we can share with all of you (our friends, family and everyone) our Journey to becoming parents. We would like to share personal feelings, stories (where applicable), fears, and other emotions on this "journey" and "roller-coaster!"

The only thing we ask is that you keep comments positive - NOT NEGATIVE (no rude or negative or rude comments) as such will not be accepted and WILL BE DELETED. As such conduct is not included and apart of our purpose and cause.

Anyhow that being said....  like many of you know we have been married for just about 13 months and have been trying to get pregnant and start our family yet, have not been successful. We are always hopeful and optimistic every month.  Although I do have to admit that my Dear husband has most of the time has MORE FAITH than I do. He does not get discouraged or frustrated (it don't seem) as easy as I do. 

With me I get frustrated, discouraged, and start having and experiencing feelings of hopelessness and wondering what is the matter with me.  He always seems to be reminding me to "Go by faith!" he would say "Honey, everything will work out in due time. I know how much you want us to have a baby and be a mother., and to "GO BY FAITH!" "

I am so glad I have such a faithful and loving and Paitent husband who is Paitent and brings me back to "reality!" and calms me when I am fearful, worry some, and go through my range of emotions.

We really have the strong desire to have and be able to bring and give birth (me giving birth, carrying our own children) and bringing them into this world.

We have also discussed briefly not to much really in detail the options of Adoption, Surrogacy and other forms and methods.

Honestly I am not sure how I feel about those other ways. Haven't really thought about it.